UniversalThreads

Well I didn’t think this’d be
how you’d let the story end;
I’m staring up from the bottom of this bottle
And you’re still holding that pen.

I tried to ignore you again
But you lit matches and went for broke
So please find the courage
To shout your words through the smoke
Please clear the air; please don’t choke.

You wanted me, wanted the sensation,
Orchestrated a disaster
But the second you saw the flames
Of a real life beating heart,
You pulled the plug on happily ever after

I took all the pain, all the hurt,
Swallowed my pride and hung my hope
On every dream you ever wrote
And foolishly handed you my heart;
Please don’t fumble it again
–please don’t choke.

I know it’s a risk; all you’ve given me–
pain, empty promises, hard silences–
So why? Why stick my neck out
Why bare my heart, my soul,
To let you eat me alive for rock and roll?

You doubled down,
You went for broke
So please find the courage
To use your words–
Clear the air, all the smoke–
Please don’t choke.

You got the answer you waited for
But I guess that was your ego asking,
Not your heart.
So you cut the line and I spent
Another five years in the dark.

And it starts to seem
It wasn’t even a dream you
Wrote me into–
these nightmare scenarios–
defending myself
like I’m some pedo
While you live easy in the glory
Of the spark I gave you
But you won’t tell the whole story,
Won’t say my real name.
Let me take the blame,
Live in the shadows,
Live in the shame
While you bask in that light–
It’s just not right.

You doubled down,
You went for broke
So please find the courage
To use your words–
Clear the air, all the smoke–
Please don’t choke.

All I want is the truth,
No more secrets,
For us both to come clean.
And if you sell me,

At least have the guts

To say my name–
Not Lucy. Not Wendy.

Chantel JaNeen.